. . C l u m s y . .

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!Spoke out on 2005-01-14 at 9:24 p.m.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to call someone and be like, "Pick me up and just let go get trashed." Today would be that day for me people. I have been sick for the past two days, I'm bored out of my mind. I've been sleeping on and off today so I'm not tired at all, what so ever right now and all I want to do is fuking sleep. I'm grounded though so it's not like it would help. The funny thing is, is that I'm grounded for going and picking up medication at the store yesterday when I was sick. How awesome is that? Another thing that makes my day oh-so-wonderful is that Tim and I have been talking a lot recently and he's been acting really nice towards me. I mean I thought that he might actually like me, but oh-how wrong I was. I'm just really frusterated with being like the back-up friend. Someone who you call when there is no one else to call or hang out with. He only calls or texts me when Lianna is gone, he isn't busy with his friends, he isn't busy sitting around his house...or feels sorry for me. I've just got so much bull going on in my life right now it's unbelievable. Added to the array of things above I am failing my Senior year of highschool. I'm currently enrolled in nightschool but if I don't pass I will not graduate thus making me a 5 year graduate. Then I have to worry about college, which for some people is fun but not for me. I'm going to a two year junior college and I am still going to live with my parents so it will be this all over again. I am really lonely. I always seem to be attracted to people who like to hurt me, or take advantage of my trust or something. You have no idea how much I just want to jump out my window right now. I would either end my life, or be rushed to the emergency room and maybe someone will care about me then...but who knows.
I'm so stupid sometimes. I thought that Tim would actually dump Lianna for me, he sounded like he was really interested in me. Why would anyone want to leave their gf for me anyways, or date me for that matter. I just want to curl up into a ball and d.i.e.

Love,
Roxie

Love sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.

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